ADHD and Self Esteem
- Michael Ling
- Nov 21, 2025
- 2 min read
Self-Esteem can be a real challenge for people with ADHD - self-esteem is something we all care about. Feeling capable, valued, and accepted shapes how we approach life, but for people with ADHD, self-esteem can be a complicated and often fragile thing. Many of my clients struggle with it, and it can affect relationships, work, and personal goals.
Research consistently finds that people with ADHD tend to have lower self-esteem than their peers; this applies to children, adolescents, and adults. In children, difficulties with school, attention, and peer relationships can create repeated experiences of failure or criticism.
Studies have also found that adults with ADHD often report lower overall self-worth and more fluctuations in how they feel about themselves day to day.
Self-esteem is not just about feeling bad occasionally - for many with ADHD, it reflects a pattern of experiences where their efforts are misunderstood, mistakes are highlighted, or achievements go unnoticed.
There are several factors that cause this in people with ADHD:
Criticism and misunderstanding: Children and adults with ADHD often hear “just try harder” or “why can’t you focus?” These messages can stick and erode confidence.
Social challenges: ADHD can make social interactions more difficult, from impulsivity to difficulty reading cues. Peer rejection or exclusion can damage self-worth.
Academic and work struggles: Repeated difficulties with organisation, deadlines, or attention can create a sense of failure, even when the person is working hard.
Comorbid conditions: Anxiety, low mood, or other mental health challenges can deepen feelings of inadequacy.
It is not all doom and gloom, however - low self-esteem is not fixed. With support, it can improve, and evidence shows that treatment for ADHD, therapy, and creating environments where people experience success all help. ADHD coaching is one such environment. Small wins matter, and recognising strengths, celebrating achievements, and reframing challenges can gradually build confidence. It is not something that can be fixed quickly, it takes time and commitment.
If you work with someone with ADHD or have it yourself, there are practical steps you can take:
Focus on strengths and achievements, not just struggles.
Set small, achievable goals to build confidence.
Validate experiences and emotions without judgement.
Encourage supportive social interactions.
Consider therapy or coaching that specifically addresses self-worth and self-compassion.
Understanding the challenges and the factors that contribute to lower self-worth can help people take steps to feel more capable, valued, and confident. Every small success can make a real difference, and no one has to deal with it alone. If you would like to learn more, here are some links to further reading materials related to the subject:
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