Understanding ADHD in Women

When I began coaching women who have ADHD, I noticed a pattern that kept coming up. Many had spent years feeling like something wasn’t quite right but didn’t know what it was; they didn’t fit the stereotype of the loud, disruptive child often used to describe ADHD. Instead, they were the ones who kept quiet, tried hard to get things right, and held it all together on the outside while struggling internally.

For a long time, the way ADHD presents in women simply wasn’t part of the conversation - girls are often socialised to be polite, to people-please, and to push through. As a result, they’re more likely to internalise their struggles rather than act out, which means they’re frequently misdiagnosed or overlooked altogether, often being told their issues are down to stress, anxiety, or even just being disorganised or emotional. It’s exhausting to live like that, especially when no one sees what’s really going on.

Hormonal changes also play a major role in how ADHD shows up; for many women, symptoms become more intense at key points in life, like around their periods, during pregnancy, or throughout perimenopause and menopause. These changes can be hugely destabilising and often catch people off guard, particularly if they haven’t yet had a diagnosis or any real support, which can lead to significant anxiety and distress.

Coaching offers something that many women with ADHD haven’t had before: space to feel seen, understood, and supported without judgement. It’s a chance to get really find out about what’s been happening, to spot patterns, and to begin finding strategies that genuinely help. I’ve had so many women say things like, “I thought I was just bad at life,” or “I always assumed I just had to try harder.” The relief that comes with finally understanding your brain can be incredibly powerful, which is something I am sure many of you reading this can relate to.

If you’ve recognised any of this in yourself, please know that you're not the only one. There is support, there are ways to manage things more kindly and effectively, and you absolutely deserve that. If you’d like someone to walk alongside you as you figure it out, I’d love to help.