Managing RSD when you have ADHD

What is RSD?

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is an intense emotional reaction to real or perceived criticism, rejection, or failure. For people with ADHD, it can feel overwhelming, often causing sudden shame, anger, or withdrawal, even in minor situations. It’s not a flaw or weakness – it’s a neurological response linked to ADHD, and understanding it is the first step to managing it more effectively. Below are some ways you can help manage your RSD:

1. Pause before reacting

RSD pushes you into fast, emotional responses. Building in even a short pause can make a huge difference. Step away, breathe, or give yourself a set “cooling-off” window before replying to messages or continuing a conversation.

2. Check the story you’re telling yourself

RSD often fills in the blanks with the worst-case interpretation. Ask yourself: Is this a fact, or is this a feeling? What else could be true? It helps you shift from emotional certainty to a more balanced perspective.

3. Use a trusted sounding board

Talk things through with someone who understands ADHD. They can help you reality-check situations and gently challenge the assumptions RSD creates. Sometimes an outside view breaks the emotional spiral quickly.

4. Prepare a self-soothing plan

Have a few grounding strategies ready for tough moments. This might be a calming playlist, stepping outside for fresh air, journalling, or using a sensory tool. Anything that helps your nervous system settle gives you space to re-engage more calmly.

5. Set boundaries around vulnerable moments

If you’re feeling particularly sensitive, it’s okay to delay difficult conversations or step back from environments that trigger rejection. Protecting your emotional bandwidth isn’t avoidance; it’s sensible self-management.